31-year-old employee suspects coworker is jealous of his recent promotion: ‘Instead of the “congratulations” I’d expect much like the others in our text group chat, she just says “You trying to take my job?”’

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Sep 12, 2026 7:15 AM EDT

Is jealousy in the workplace dangerous? Is there anything we can do about it?

Jealousy is a controversial emotion. We all feel it at some point, but none of us wants to admit we do. I believe jealousy, when it's ours, can help point us toward our desires and, if we play our cards right, transform into admiration.

It's definitely much more fruitful to relate to the people we look up to through curiosity and compliments than through jealousy and bitterness. The chances of reaching our goals become much, much higher, and we even create an opportunity to be helped by those who are currently in a position we'd wish to be in.

It's much easier to do something about jealousy when it's an emotion we're feeling, but when we suspect someone else feels jealous of us, things get a little more complicated.

First of all, most likely we can't confront the person with what we think is going on, precisely because it's an emotion nobody wants to admit they're having, and even more so if it wasn't communicated directly to us.

Jealousy coming from someone at our workplace, taken to its extreme, can be pervasive, but in everyday work life it's mostly harmless. We have to find a way to ignore it, since our coworkers' emotions are not our responsibility.

Of course, we'd be more than willing to help them reach their goals if they related to us more positively, but when all we receive is negativity and pettiness, there's not much we can do.

Our kindness and overall neutrality should become like a fortress where all the bitterness bounces back. Maybe after some time, the person will understand that the only way to get a promotion is to learn from those in a higher position, and if she doesn't, well, that'd be on her.

At least that'd be my tactic for confronting this issue. What would you do in this situation??

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  • Cheezburger Image 10663236864
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The jealous coworker

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  • Got a raise and promotion. Coworker is jealous. What do I do?

    So I recently accepted a promotion to a more senior position that came with a pretty hefty raise much to my surprise. Things are finally looking up for me and it's nice to get the recognition I feel like I worked hard for.
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  • Then came the day when my promotion got announced to the company, for the most part it was a great day, a lot of my peers congratulated me and genuinely felt happy for me with some people making remarks
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  • like "finally they recognized you!" or "it was only a matter of time." Save for one person. For context this person is someone I'd consider a friend, we've hung out on
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  • occasion with other coworkers in our little friend circle outside of work. I even go cycling with her husband whom I've really become good friends with and they've even invited me to their baby shower.
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  • Because I've gotten to know her well outside of work, I've come to know her gripes with the company and her wish to get a raise/promotion. For the most part everyone in the company likes her as a person and she's very
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  • knowledgeable about the ins and outs of our operation being the go to person for any questions. we have complicated or not. However her work ethic is poor, she's not very responsive to emails sometimes letting it sit for
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    via Daria Nepriakhina 🇺🇦

    The jealous employee texting her privately

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  • day causing the company to suspend her from WFH privileges for a couples. months and her attendance is poor with constant callouts. This caused her to be put on a PIP earlier this year which means she also got
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  • passed over for a promotion which was given to me instead. So when my promotion got announced, she didn't seem to take it well, much to my surprise.
    via No_Astronomer_8960
  • Instead of the "congratulations" I'd expect much like the others in our text group chat, she just says "You trying to take my job?" At first I took it as a joke, so I just replied jokingly while
    via No_Astronomer_8960
  • shutting down her claim. She then replies with "kinda crazy considering I worked there longer than you." I kinda shut down, so I didn't reply. I just tried to chalk it up to me
    via No_Astronomer_8960
  • overthinking it and her being sarcastic. Plus her saying that in a group chat surely means she's joking. That's when she texts me privately asking me how much I make now. One thing about me is I don't
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  • like disclosing my salary to others, so that was already uncomfortable in itself. So I kindly just explained how I don't feel comfortable answering. She then says that her reasoning for asking me
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  • that question is because she wants to have a conversation with our director about a raise and she wants to use my salary as a barometer. To be honest I just felt very icky about it and definitely left a bad taste. So I just told
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  • her to definitely push for a raise and end the conversation there. The next day after my promotion announcement, she was acting very weird around me almost passive aggressive. I would notice
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  • her talking to others but actively avoid me. Save for one passive aggressive comment thanking me for answering her text and giving her a ball park figure of my salary, even though I never did such a thing. She's coming off very
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  • bitter and jealous. It also feels like she's taking it out on me even though I never pushed for a promotion. They just unexpectedly gave it to me due to my merit. Even if I did push for one, it
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  • certainly wouldn't be to backdoor her out of her chances. If anything I feel like she did that to herself due to her poor work ethic. It kinda bothers me, and I'm not sure what to do.
    via No_Astronomer_8960
  • Its just odd to me, this whole situation. Do I just let this blow by? Do I talk to her about it? What do I do if it gets worse? I've never been put in this situation before and I'd love to hear some advice especially if you've been
    via No_Astronomer_8960
  • never been put in this situation before and I'd love to hear some advice especially if you've been put in a similar situation. Thanks!
    via No_Astronomer_8960
  • Cheezburger Image 10663237632
    via Josh Duke

    What should she do?
     

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workplace-stories toxic-workplace work workplace toxic-work-environment
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